Wednesday, August 22, 2007

You've Got A Friend

"You just call out my name /And you know wherever I am / I'll come running"

What The Old School Super Friends Cartoon Taught Me

  • Wonder Woman's invisible jet makes her look stupid flying through the air sitting down. You are Wonder Woman! You don't need no stinkin' jet! You can totally jump hella high!

  • Superman is the heroic paragon leader. Yaaawn.

  • Batman is Robin's babysitter.

  • Aquaman can telepathically communicate with fish. LAME.

  • Green Lantern's magic ring is probably from a box of Froot Loops. It can create shields and airtight bubbles for when he has to swim underwater with Aquaman.

  • Anyone can be a superhero, even Wonder Twins' Zan, who can turn into a bucket of water. Or ice cubes for your mojito.

What The Justice League "Animated Series" is Teaching Me

  • Wonder Woman's bustier and tiara are holy relics. And she can fly! On her own! Sweet!

  • Superman is angst-ridden; it's hard to be a paladin. Yaaawn.

  • Batman is a giant douche.

  • Aquaman is the king of Atlantis. He will cut off his own hand to save his infant son. BADASS!

  • Green Lantern's magic ring is from a race of Yoda-like galactic peacekeepers. It can do ANYTHING. Suck on that, Superman!

  • Anyone can be a superhero, even Hawkgirl, who apparently turned into a tank when nobody was paying attention.
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