What The Old School Super Friends Cartoon Taught Me
- Wonder Woman's invisible jet makes her look stupid flying through the air sitting down. You are Wonder Woman! You don't need no stinkin' jet! You can totally jump hella high!
- Superman is the heroic paragon leader. Yaaawn.
- Batman is Robin's babysitter.
- Aquaman can telepathically communicate with fish. LAME.
- Green Lantern's magic ring is probably from a box of Froot Loops. It can create shields and airtight bubbles for when he has to swim underwater with Aquaman.
- Anyone can be a superhero, even Wonder Twins' Zan, who can turn into a bucket of water. Or ice cubes for your mojito.
What The Justice League "Animated Series" is Teaching Me
- Wonder Woman's bustier and tiara are holy relics. And she can fly! On her own! Sweet!
- Superman is angst-ridden; it's hard to be a paladin. Yaaawn.
- Batman is a giant douche.
- Aquaman is the king of Atlantis. He will cut off his own hand to save his infant son. BADASS!
- Green Lantern's magic ring is from a race of Yoda-like galactic peacekeepers. It can do ANYTHING. Suck on that, Superman!
- Anyone can be a superhero, even Hawkgirl, who apparently turned into a tank when nobody was paying attention.