Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Legend In My Living Room

"I knew that I was going to be a legend in my living room... / But I've shed my tears in bitter drops until the thorn trees bloomed / To take the spiky fruit to crown myself the Queen of Doom"

I am a huge fan of tiaras. I own a stunning tiara, which my beloved gave to me on my 30th birthday. [Why? Because Thirty Is A Radiant Age. Duh.] I have given tiaras to some of my most favorite ladies and I'm thinking of starting a campaign called A Tiara for Every Woman.

One of the women I hope to reach with my worldwide campaign is Priscila Perales of Mexico, Miss International 2007:

Darling, the Ice Queen of Narnia called; she wants her Christmas bonnet back. Listen to Tita Cookie, miha preciosa. A proper tiara has no CHIN STRAP. A proper tiara has no polar bear fur, no fake gold unicorns, no red felt, no pearl-like beads. A proper tiara is all shiny diamond[elle] radiance to match a shiny smile. Like this:


That's Jennifer Berry, Miss America 2006. Mira! Look how her diamond[elle] tiara is as shiny as her smile. I covet her tiara. Not her life, just her tiara. Priscila, unstrap that abomination from your pretty little head and go tiara-shopping with this bitch. Ahora mismo, miha.

Dusty, my beloved Binkypoots, if you are reading this, remember that Thirty-three Is [Also] A Radiant Age. I'm just sayin'. You gots a couple months. Lovvve youuu.

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