Friday, April 18, 2008

If I Had $1,000,000

"If I had $1,000,000, I'd buy you a green dress. / (But not a real green dress; that's cruel)"

So let me get this straight, Harputs Market: you're charging almost $1000 for these pink . . . things, these godless abominations. You honestly think that people would rather buy these open-toed pink Barbie high heels with attached leather leg-warmers/spats than, say, pay rent. Or eat. Or do anything other than buy and wear these bitches. Wow. If these shoes = fashionable, then I will happily go fug myself.

And yes, I did call them pink. The caption says they're lavender, but I refuse to tarnish lavender's good name by associating it with these shoes. Besides, the caption also says they're boots, and clearly, they would never function as such. I dare anyone to wear these as boots during an Edmonton winter. For serious, who would wear these?! When sober, I mean?!

Dear whoever designed these: NO! NO NO NO NO NO. NO! Just . . . NO!

"If I Had $1,000,000" by Barenaked Ladies. If I had $1,000,000, I still wouldn't buy these bitches. Uh-uh. NO.

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