Thursday, August 7, 2008

No More Words

"I'm still listening and still unsure"

Dear Lady at Winners:

Four things I didn't get to say to you this afternoon:

1) I don't know why, but I totally dug your Skechers! They look comfortable, and yet the style is sortof retro. I think I owned a pair just like this in seventh grade, but these are way cuter.

2) Your hair is super adorable! If you were Katie Holmes, you'd look like this:

3) Thank you for saying my daughter was beautiful when you peered into her stroller the way so many other women do whenever I am out somewhere with my Button. It seems to be a "thing" among women pushing strollers in public places, especially stores: you lock eyes with another woman pushing a stroller and smile, peer into her stroller and declare the wee creature sitting there to be "beautiful" or "adorable" or "big" or "little" or, if the wee one actually LOOKS a bit creature-ish, "precious". The woman then reciprocates.

4) I'm sorry I broke the rules above and didn't reciprocate but--how do I put this delicately?--you had a Yorkshire terrier in your stroller. YOU WERE PUSHING YOUR DOG IN A STROLLER!!!!!11!!!!! And you were blithely talking to me about my baby in her stroller! What was I supposed to say back to you? "I'll bet mine doesn't shed as much on the sofa"?! Now you know why I suddenly feigned interest in that heinous poop brown Tommy Hilfiger logo tote bag. I should've complimented you on your shoes or hair, but the DOG IN YOUR STROLLER distracted me.

Dear Other Ladies Who Push Dogs in Strollers:

Let's not compare "babies". I don't . . . I can't . . . Just . . . NO, okay? NO.

"No More Words" by Berlin

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