Monday, March 9, 2009

Somebody's Watching Me

"I always feel like somebody's watching me / Who's playing tricks on me?"

[This is my version of Zan McQuade's list, "Things I Sometimes Imagine Against My Will", which Mighty Girl also did a few days ago. Be brave, little one.]

I look up from washing my face in the sink and I see in the mirror that there is someone behind me. And it's not my husband trying to cop a feel.

I open the curtains in my bedroom to let the moonlight shine through and there is a face at the window.

Just as I'm about to drop trou, Pennywise comes up from the toilet to devour me. [After we watched that movie, my sister and I went to the bathroom together for a week.]

I'm typing at my computer and get the distinct feeling someone is behind me. I turn around to discover I am right. And once again, it's not my husband trying to cop a feel.

I fall down the basement stairs and break my neck. When Dusty gets home, he finds my crumpled body at the bottom of the stairs and the baby standing at the safety gate, wailing.

The zombie apocalypse comes while I am out running errands by myself. I rush home and find the house -- with Dusty and Diana trapped inside -- surrounded by the undead.

I get into my car, exhausted after long hours of crunch, and do not notice that a knife-wielding psychopath is in the back seat.

A hand shoots out from under my car/bed and grabs my ankle. [I guess this is a common one.]

The baby monitor starts making the cluck-cluck-cluck alien sounds like in the movie Signs.

"Somebody's Watching Me" by Rockwell/Michael Jackson
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