"I love the time and in between the calm inside me / In the space where I can breathe / I believe there is a distance I have wandered / To touch upon the years of reaching out and reaching in / Holding out, holding in / I believe, this is heaven to no one else but me / And I'll defend it, long as I can be / Left here to linger in silence / If I choose to, would you try to understand?"
Every year on my birthday, I write and meditate on a personal reflection that calls on the elements, usually offering up to the Universe something in my life that correlates to Fire, Water, Earth, Air, and Spirit. Early December was crazybusy, so I didn't get to my birthday reflection in time. Right around New Year's Eve, I got some sort of mutated superflu and I've been sick ever since. Sad panda.
I'm mostly back to the land of the living now, and being bedridden last week actually gave me time to just be in the calm inside me, in the space where I can breathe and think and write. Last night's full micro moon also inspired me to honor it by sharing my birthday reflection with all of you. Looking back on past years' reflections, I realized that the things I offered were things that I either wanted the Universe to take away or take care of for me.
This year, I want to change that up. I want to give to the Universe something of myself that embodies the elements, something that I hope will help me make my little corner of this place just a tiny bit better.
On my 39th Trip Around the Sun, this is my offering to the Universe.
In the name of Fire, I will be a light to my children and my students, inspiring them to love learning, especially about art. I will exude warmth to all, even strangers, in friendship and basic human kindness. I will pursue my passions more earnestly: writing, crafting, dancing, cooking, creating with Fire.
In the name of Water, I will be more fluid and not allow my expectations of how things should be to hinder the natural flow of how things really are meant to be. I will be more clear about my intentions, my speech, and my actions, to help me live with more honesty and integrity.
In the name of Earth, I will continue to be a source of stability for my family, nurturing the growth of my children by allowing them to grow away from me and toward their own skies. I will strive to be grounded in reality about what I am able to accomplish with the time, resources, and energy that I have at the present moment.
In the name of Air, I will assume leadership quietly, unexpectedly, with no unnecessary bombast. I will command--not demand--respect by showing what I can do rather than telling. I will adjust my temperature and temperament to fit my present environment and purpose.
I will remember and honor my true Spirit. I may be walking on a different path than I had envisioned, looking at the world with different eyes than I had expected, and growing toward a different sky than I had intended, but I am still stepping with the same feet, reaching out with the same arms, and loving with the same heart.
Elsewhere by Sarah McLachlan